‘Must’ hand out barf bags at Weddings

What’s the deal with weddings?

You put on fancy clothes, wear makeup and get your hair done.

Then what!

Weddings, I believe, are the place where pretentious people flourish. It is where freaks wearing heavy cosmetics scare the hell out of kids.

Now I “Jehan” am in a wedding.

Time: 11:30 p.m.

A really fat young woman shamelessly exposing her body to the utmost extent. She doesn’t’ have eyes :O !!!

Her eyes are buried inside lyres of black eye shadow and fake eye lashes.

Where is her eye brows :O !!!

They are over plucked, one need to get really close to her face in order to see that she has some left!

The wedding is overwhelmed with masks, people; you should put on make up, not masks! And seriously, ‘less is more’

And don’t let me start on the music!

Loud, bad, ear-soar music! Extremely Loud. It is terrible; I hope I brought my iPod to listen to real music. This is African drums, poor-quality keyboard and discordant voice of an African woman singing!! Or shall I say performing a ritual!

Now let’s speak ‘dresses’

They are literally nightgowns, sort of flannel sleep wears!! For Victoria’s Secret sake I can see your nipples comin out of those huge breasts! Are you pregnant, or probably nursing someone! Motherly large breast are disgusting < sick face >

The dance, oh my God, as if there they are fire dancing, they are howling around with twirling moves.

I’ve noticed that some of the Saudi girls at weddings dance in what is called “ dirty dancing” more or less. It is like I am setting in a strip club, except here the strippers are fat, and the elderly here urge their young ones to perform their dances round the striping pole!

Time: 12:30 a.m.

 I can see a lady stepping inside the hall; she found the first chair and sat there. Is she in the wrong wedding? Does she know any one here? Or maybe she’s sleep walking, the loud music wakes the hotel residents, and as one, she felt this jingle cry calling her to this place!

It has been over 30 minutes the lights are down, candles everywhere, spotlight directed to the entrance, no bride yet. “Finish up bitch” I say to myself!

No wait here she comes.


She’s a doll.

A doll I’ll use to scare my little sisters if they wont go to sleep  !

She seems happy! I don’t know why! I just can’t understand why anyone would be happy to commit to other being! To what extreme can one life be, shallow and empty, to reach the stage where you need someone to be tied to forever, enslaved and locked in a seemingly “golden” cage, FOREVER!

Someone, Anyone, help me realize the reason WHY

The only thing, or actually two things that saved me from loosing it is knowing that I am in this hellish situation only doing a favor for my adorable sister, Jaimy.

And for my “hotty” friend, who kept me company. I was surprised to see her in the wedding! The best coincidence ever! To her I say: Thanks for saving what remained of my mind. Thanks for saving the night!


3 thoughts on “‘Must’ hand out barf bags at Weddings

  1. oh come on, you’re exaggerating !
    I hate weddings too… but when it comes to the ppl who have made these occasions… you gotta appreciate it! they work hard on organizing the whole thing… and I really feel it’s inconsiderate to talk about it in that way !

    You live in a society were wedding are that way… let the ppl have fun…let them be !
    and keep in you’re mind… that when u attend a wedding, you make the one who invited you extremely happy…the more the merrier!

    The best thing about our weddings here, it’s not mixed.. so be grateful !

    Thank you Jehan for accompanying me… I was extremely happy to attend her wedding ^^

    btw : 11 pm not am 😉

  2. Ohoud says:

    Not all weddings are the same, i can see you generalizing. There are some really ‘romantic’ weddings which you don’t want to get out from and i’ve attended such a kind.
    As long as we, girls, have the choice of whether to accept a proposal or refuse it, and the fact that we can set conditions of marriage, won’t make it a ‘golden cage’ as you said << these are western marriages if you remember what dr. Mona Al-sadhan said about them 😉 and after all, don't you want to become a happy bride as well? and have children of your own? i think this is every girl's dream.
    that's my opinion and thanks for the post,,, you cracked me up! XD

  3. Jehan I loved your description really!

    I hate weddings too n I hate most of women gathering like dgs n so….

    cause they are so shallow n they wear things like what do you describe n wearing a lot of make ups ” ewwwww =\”

    I can’t understand how they like such events n have fun!!!

    They appearntly don’t know what the word ” fun” means

    & by marriage all what I can say tho It is the worest thing ever but I am afraid we have to at least a superficial one just to keep the social statues despite our likness

    I wish if we r living in a freedom country then I won’t have to get married

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